You don’t have to allow your past to hold you from your future.
I am often amazed at the number of people that I encounter that allow themselves to be held victim to an event that took place in their past.
It is “normal” to feel the effects of your past but it does not have to control the direction and results of your future.
When you hear “negative” news, just remember that information is theoretically neutral until you assign a label, positive or negative to it. Remember, news is nothing more than information. The purpose of news is to Inform you. Information should simply be processed. We can choose what information we intake and we can choose how we will process it.
First and foremost, we don’t have to see things that happen in our past, present, or future as negative.
Some things are not positive or negative; they are just a “fact of life”. It is just something we get to deal with, an opportunity to create something beautiful. We can even make the events in our life a game. We can challenge ourselves and others to come up with creative responses to “challenging” situations.
Whether you laugh, sigh, or cry after hearing “news” or information in your personal or professional life, you still have to make a decision and take an action. Whether you choose to label the news negative or positive, you still have to process the information and decide what you will do about it. To not make a decision is still a decision; it’s just a decision to not act. Either way, there will be consequences.
Any product that was made by a human will eventually need to be repaired. It is not necessarily a sign that your life or business is “cursed” or that you are experiencing bad luck when a car or your laptop needs maintenance. There is such a thing as “wear and tear”. If you continue to wear the same blue jeans often enough, eventually they will wear out. Things that breakdown need to be replaced or repaired, pure and simple. It doesn’t have to be positive or negative.
History is replete with people that have experienced what many considered to be insurmountable odds, or devastating abuse, but were able not only to survive but thrive. The common denominator of most success stories is usually the person’s choice to rise above the challenge. They chose to see the opportunity instead of the obstacle. They looked for what was possible and not for what was impossible. They chose to have a positive spin on the situation. They sided with the positive view instead of a negative view. A positive perception can be your greatest protection in “negative” situations.
Whatever you have experienced in your life, family, or business, it does not have to be viewed as negative, and it does not have to hold you back. Refuse to let anything or anyone hold you back.
Stress does not have to be a part of your life like a bad roommate that you cannot get rid of. Choose to manage your stress by focusing on methods that will accelerate your success.
Stress is a choice and so is a positive perception. Choose to increase your focus on the tasks and activities that will accelerate success. Stress is nothing but a clarion call for greater focus. You can focus just as well as anyone else on the planet. It’s a simple choice.
You do not have to be the victim of anyone or anything. Being a victim is a choice; being an owner is also a choice. You have the power to own your situation and create a beautiful result, just like a property owner has the ability to change the property's landscape anytime they get good and ready. Get rid of the weeds on your property! Someone could have done something “bad” to you or something “unfortunate” could have taken place in your business. You can choose to say, “What’s good about this?” You can choose to say, “This will turn out for my good. I can make this work. I can do this!”
At any point, you can choose to rise up and say, “What happened in my past is irrelevant. What matters now is what I choose to do in this moment.”
Operate from a position of strength in all of your personal and professional dealings.
If someone refuses to acknowledge you, you do not have to add a label of “rejection” to the interaction. They simply did not acknowledge you, it is what it is, and it’s no big deal. There could be a multitude of reasons why someone did not speak to you, hire you, or do business with you. The reasons are what they are. The reason for someone’s action or inaction toward you does not take away from the value of who you are.
A $100 bill backed by the Federal Reserve has the exact same value whether it is spanking brand new or crumpled up in the corner of someone’s purse or front pocket. That $100 bill will spend just the same no matter where it came from, and no matter what happened to it before it got to you. Similarly, your value does not change just because someone did not recognize your value. Your are brilliant, period, end of story.
Events that took place in your past don’t have to last. Process the information that they provide and decide to simply glide into the beautiful future that is yours and yours alone.
“The rest of your life will be the best of your life.” –Dr. Dave Martin
Remember the following keys when processing “negative” news from your past, present, or future:
1) Nothing is ever as bad as it first appears.
This 1st key is taken from a quote that I cherish from author Mike Murdock. One of the principles that he shares in his book, “The Law of Recognition”, is that every season in your life has a purpose. It is up to you to discern the purpose of the present season that you are experiencing. Learn to extract the benefits of every season that you are in. If you are presently unemployed or in need of new clients, use this time as an opportunity to refuel and retool; upgrade your skills and services. The season for research is not the season for marketing. The present season you are in will change. It may initially feel bad, look bad, or sound bad, but nothing is really that bad. There is likely some positive benefit in the situation just waiting for your recognition. Remember, nothing is ever as bad as it first appears.
2) Change is inevitable, misery is optional.
Things will change; this is a part of life and business. One of the best ways to manage change is to prepare for it. The economy will change. Business will change. Human bodies grow older. Muscles that are not used will eventually atrophy. Change will come, how we deal with change is a choice that is ours and ours alone. We don’t have to be “negative” about change. Change can be one of the best things that ever happens to us, but we must perceive and negotiate change appropriately in order to fully benefit from it. Make a habit of preparing for and being positive about change. Remember, change is inevitable, misery is optional. Be positive, you can do this!
3) Rejection is nothing more than redirection.
It may have been the best thing for you that you did not land that position or account that you thought you really “had” to have. You later found out that the company hit hard times 12 months later and had to reduce their workforce by 50%. You did not know this at the time but now you are grateful that you did not land that position or account. You were protected from further financial setback. It may have been for the best that the relationship that you thought you had to have never developed. You later found out that the person had some major character flaws that would have significantly impeded the positive progress of your life. Your life was spared from the potential grief and heartache. Remember, rejection is nothing more than redirection.
4) Learn the lesson and forget the drama and the details.
It is our own choice to assign a label to a particular interaction. When a buyer or a manager or a family member corrects us we should see it as a positive thing. For the most part, people that we do business with or that are friends or family only want the best for us. In mutual business dealings, the other party does not truly benefit if you are not doing well. Friends and family only want the best for you. If your friends or family don’t want the best for you then you don’t have to call them a friend, or if they are family you don’t have to be victimized by them. You can choose who you allow access to your life. If an event takes place that most people would call “negative”, refuse to feed into it. Forget the irrelevant details and the emotionally charged discourse and choose to learn the lesson. What is the main point, what is the key takeaway? Take the lesson, apply it, and experience a better result in the future. It’s not deep, simply learn the lesson and forget the drama and the details.
5) Build a Buffer Zone.
A buffer zone as defined by the American Heritage Dictionary is a neutral area between hostile or belligerent forces that serves to prevent conflict. Build buffer zones in your personal and professional life. Allow people space to disagree without you having an emotionally charged response. The fact that two people do not agree on a certain topic does not diminish the value of either party. What building a buffer zone does is enable two differing parties to exist in an area that is safe for both entities. The fact that someone does not agree with your goal or pursuit does not have to impede your progress, simply build a buffer zone.
6) Build Margin into Your Life.
Stress will be significantly reduced when you build margin into your life. Expand the time frames in which you execute important tasks. Plan for the unexpected, some people have mounting stress in their lives because they try to get too much done in too little time. Many that feel like they have not completed half of what they intended for a particular day often have unrealistic expectations. Readjust your expectations and be realistic. Give yourself more time to do important tasks and stop trying to get "everything" done, and just get the most important things done. Margin is when you give yourself 45 minutes to get a 25 minute task done. If you get the task done in 25 minutes, great; if you don’t, no big deal, you built 45 minutes into your day for this task and it doesn’t throw your entire day off. Building margin into your life will make life more enjoyable and more effective.
Apply the above keys to your life, business, career, or family and enjoy the results of turning negative news into positive results!
Question: What methods do you use to turn "negative" news into positive results?
I really enjoy reading your comments.
Turn Your Setbacks into Accelerated Comebacks,
Craig L. Sanders
“The Comeback Specialist”
P.S. To inquire about Craig's book, "Keys to Manifesting Your Destiny", his coaching packages, or to have him speak at your event, please visit his website: http://www.craiglsanders.com/
P.P.S. Follow Craig on these following social media sites:
Twitter: @CRAIGLSANDERS http://bit.ly/5rMQy5
Facebook: http://bit.ly/8DHOzU
Linkedin: http://bit.ly/5kLw5F
Copyright 2010 Craig Sanders Unlimited, LLC
4/2/10
7 Keys to Building a Stress-Free Lifestyle
Reducing stress can seem like a monumental task.
How do you get on top of tasks that seem to be getting the best of you?
There are so many things to do in this life. There are seemingly a million things pulling at you from a million different directions. Extracurricular activities turn into over commitment and extra pressure that mounds and mounds and manifests in the form of frustration, indigestion, exasperation, and the list goes on and on.
There is a way to manage your life where you can actually experience more peace, joy, productivity, efficiency, and uncommon fulfillment.
One thing that I have learned over the years is that I must never complain about what I permit. You will either be an owner of your destiny or a victim of your circumstances. It is all a choice. It’s your choice and no one else’s.
One well known international author and speaker was complaining about how busy her schedule was. After complaining and blaming others and some extensive soul searching, she suddenly realized that she was responsible for making her schedule so busy. She is the one that agreed to all of the back to back speaking engagements and television interviews. She is the one that did not make room on her calendar for rest, exercise, and relaxation. She could not blame anyone but herself. What did she do? She took responsibility for her own choices (ownership). She took ownership and refused to become a victim of her own poor planning. She got back to doing one thing; one beautiful thing at a time. She began to schedule rest and recreation into her schedule.
She began to see that she was doing some things just to please other people, even though inwardly she knew she could not afford to over commit. She forgot the power of saying “no”. She forgot to say, “No, that does not work for me, but thanks for asking…No, I will not be able to do what you are asking.” “No” can be such a liberating word. People will actually respect you more if you have the strength and courage to say “no” when something does not work for you.
If you do not make the changes that need to be made in your life, no one else can or will make them for you. Actually, life is only as stressful as we make it. Steve Chandler says there is really no such thing as being overwhelmed; we just need to be bolder and get more focused. Take control of your life, career, business, fitness, family, etc. Be courageous. Be proactive. Be decisive. Be free. Be stress-free.
As you continue your daily quest to reduce stress, remember the following keys:
1) Practice mindfulness.
Stress if reduced when you get into what you are doing. Follow your passion instead of a distraction. When you are driving and in route to your destination, notice every little thing along the way. Notice the color of the leaves on the trees. Notice the person that is crossing the street while you are at the light. Take time to look the cashier in the eyes and give a genuine smile, and say, “thank you”. When you are in a conversation with anyone, give them your total and complete focus. If you don’t really have time to talk, don’t just keep filing papers while someone is trying to talk to you, just politely tell them that this is really not the best time for you. Be mindful of everything you do, it will help to keep you stress-free.
2) Do one thing.
This key that I learned from author Steve Chandler www.clubfearless.net has helped me and so many others. You really never have a million things to do at once; you only have the one thing that you are choosing to do in that moment. You can really only do one thing at a time. It doesn’t matter who you are or what activity you are involved in, you can only do one thing at a time. Even when people say they are multi-tasking, they are really only doing one thing at a time. Make a list of the “million” things that you need to get done, pick one and get it done. Put all of your creativity, all of your energy, and all of your focus into doing the one thing that you have chosen to do. Do it with joy, do it with craftsmanship, and do it with excellence. Feel the satisfaction that comes from completion. Enjoy the satisfaction, celebrate your achievement, and then pick another wonderful task from your list of opportunities to complete with joy and mastery. Doing one thing will help you to stay stress-free.
3) Learn the power of one hour.
Your day, your business, your family, your life really takes off when you learn to give every hour a definite, clear, and concise purpose. Give every hour an assignment. Decide what every hour or a series of hours is assigned to produce. Every 24 hours should produce a measurable product or number of products for you. Even if one of the products that is produced for a specific 24 hours is rest and relaxation, give every hour an assignment. Your life moves forward one hour at a time. Don’t just plan the next 10 months or 10 years, the real power comes in planning the next 10 hours! Learn the power of one hour.
4) Anxiety subsides when you learn to just enjoy the ride.
When I was a child and my parents were driving me and my brothers to wherever they were taking us, I would ask incessantly, “Where are we going? Are we there yet?” The answer was always the same, “Just sit back and enjoy the ride.” That was never the answer I was looking for. Even now, as I take the virtual journey towards the destination of my dreams and goals, I ask myself the same questions that I asked my parents. I ask myself, “Where am I going? Am I there yet?” The answer that rises up on the inside of me is still the same, “Just sit back and enjoy the ride.” I notice that when I stop trying to figure everything out and stop trying to force things to happen out of their proper timing, and just enjoy the ride, the anxiety and stress start to subside. Before I know it, I have arrived at my destination with peace and joy. Anxiety subsides when you and I learn to just enjoy the ride.
5) Write it down.
One personal development author said, “The dullest pencil is better than the sharpest mind.” Stop carrying all of your tasks, and ideas, and responsibilities around in your head. That is not what your mind is for. Use your mind for creativity. Use your mind to drum up creative solutions and strategies. Use your planner, PDA, iPhone, or legal pad to right down your tasks and responsibilities. Once you start writing things down you will notice almost immediately how your stress levels start to significantly decline. The dullest pencil (write it down), is better than the sharpest mind (trying to remember things that you can simply write down for future reference). Write it down and you will not experience the fear and anxiety of feeling that you are forgetting “something”. Write it down and you will be more apt to maintain a stress-free lifestyle.
6) Learn the power of saying “no”.
Be courageous enough to say “no” when something does not work for you. Resist the temptation to do things just to “please” people, especially when it is not in your best interests to do what they are asking. There are certain responsibilities that we all know are inescapable. It is a wonderful privilege to be able to serve your family and help your friends. However, never fear setting healthy and appropriate boundaries. “No” is a very effective boundary word that will help you keep your priorities straight, so that you are giving your time to the people and places that you should. Always remember, giving time to yourself is just as important as the time that you give to others. If you don’t take appropriate care of yourself, then there won’t be enough of you to help anyone else because you’ll be all used up! Don’t let this happen, learn the power of saying “no”, and refuse to allow anyone to send you on pointless guilt trips.
7) Don’t condemn yourself, just make the necessary adjustment.
Everyone makes mistakes including me. It’s called being human. The wonderful thing about being a human is we have the power and ability to acknowledge our mistakes, apologize where necessary, and make the needed changes. There is no need to add labels and stories of guilt, shame, condemnation, and blame to what has happened. You cannot unscramble scrambled eggs, either eat them or throw them away. Feeling bad about spilled milk is not going to help anything or anybody, the best thing you can do is clean up the mess, learn the lesson, and move on. Don’t condemn yourself after making a mistake, be humble and honest enough to admit where you missed it and go on. If someone else can’t seem to forgive you or get passed what you’ve done wrong, after you’ve tried to make it right, that is their problem, not yours. Just move on. Depending on what you’ve done, it may take some time to rebuild trust and reputation, but never the less there is no need to carry guilt and shame with you after doing your best to rectify a situation. Pick yourself up and keep on keepin’ on! Don’t condemn yourself, just make the adjustment.
As you continue to build your stress-free lifestyle, apply the above 7 keys and enjoy a greater sense of fulfillment.
Question: Why do you believe many people seem to experience such high stress levels? What ways have you discovered to effectively reduce your own stress?
Turn Your Setbacks into Accelerated Comebacks,
Craig L. Sanders
“The Comeback Specialist”
P.S. To inquire about Craig's book, "Keys to Manifesting Your Destiny", his coaching packages, or to have him speak at your event, please visit his website: http://www.craiglsanders.com/
P.P.S. Follow Craig on these following social media sites:
Twitter: @CRAIGLSANDERS http://bit.ly/5rMQy5
Facebook: http://bit.ly/8DHOzU
Linkedin: http://bit.ly/5kLw5F
Copyright 2010 Craig Sanders Unlimited, LLC
How do you get on top of tasks that seem to be getting the best of you?
There are so many things to do in this life. There are seemingly a million things pulling at you from a million different directions. Extracurricular activities turn into over commitment and extra pressure that mounds and mounds and manifests in the form of frustration, indigestion, exasperation, and the list goes on and on.
There is a way to manage your life where you can actually experience more peace, joy, productivity, efficiency, and uncommon fulfillment.
One thing that I have learned over the years is that I must never complain about what I permit. You will either be an owner of your destiny or a victim of your circumstances. It is all a choice. It’s your choice and no one else’s.
One well known international author and speaker was complaining about how busy her schedule was. After complaining and blaming others and some extensive soul searching, she suddenly realized that she was responsible for making her schedule so busy. She is the one that agreed to all of the back to back speaking engagements and television interviews. She is the one that did not make room on her calendar for rest, exercise, and relaxation. She could not blame anyone but herself. What did she do? She took responsibility for her own choices (ownership). She took ownership and refused to become a victim of her own poor planning. She got back to doing one thing; one beautiful thing at a time. She began to schedule rest and recreation into her schedule.
She began to see that she was doing some things just to please other people, even though inwardly she knew she could not afford to over commit. She forgot the power of saying “no”. She forgot to say, “No, that does not work for me, but thanks for asking…No, I will not be able to do what you are asking.” “No” can be such a liberating word. People will actually respect you more if you have the strength and courage to say “no” when something does not work for you.
If you do not make the changes that need to be made in your life, no one else can or will make them for you. Actually, life is only as stressful as we make it. Steve Chandler says there is really no such thing as being overwhelmed; we just need to be bolder and get more focused. Take control of your life, career, business, fitness, family, etc. Be courageous. Be proactive. Be decisive. Be free. Be stress-free.
As you continue your daily quest to reduce stress, remember the following keys:
1) Practice mindfulness.
Stress if reduced when you get into what you are doing. Follow your passion instead of a distraction. When you are driving and in route to your destination, notice every little thing along the way. Notice the color of the leaves on the trees. Notice the person that is crossing the street while you are at the light. Take time to look the cashier in the eyes and give a genuine smile, and say, “thank you”. When you are in a conversation with anyone, give them your total and complete focus. If you don’t really have time to talk, don’t just keep filing papers while someone is trying to talk to you, just politely tell them that this is really not the best time for you. Be mindful of everything you do, it will help to keep you stress-free.
2) Do one thing.
This key that I learned from author Steve Chandler www.clubfearless.net has helped me and so many others. You really never have a million things to do at once; you only have the one thing that you are choosing to do in that moment. You can really only do one thing at a time. It doesn’t matter who you are or what activity you are involved in, you can only do one thing at a time. Even when people say they are multi-tasking, they are really only doing one thing at a time. Make a list of the “million” things that you need to get done, pick one and get it done. Put all of your creativity, all of your energy, and all of your focus into doing the one thing that you have chosen to do. Do it with joy, do it with craftsmanship, and do it with excellence. Feel the satisfaction that comes from completion. Enjoy the satisfaction, celebrate your achievement, and then pick another wonderful task from your list of opportunities to complete with joy and mastery. Doing one thing will help you to stay stress-free.
3) Learn the power of one hour.
Your day, your business, your family, your life really takes off when you learn to give every hour a definite, clear, and concise purpose. Give every hour an assignment. Decide what every hour or a series of hours is assigned to produce. Every 24 hours should produce a measurable product or number of products for you. Even if one of the products that is produced for a specific 24 hours is rest and relaxation, give every hour an assignment. Your life moves forward one hour at a time. Don’t just plan the next 10 months or 10 years, the real power comes in planning the next 10 hours! Learn the power of one hour.
4) Anxiety subsides when you learn to just enjoy the ride.
When I was a child and my parents were driving me and my brothers to wherever they were taking us, I would ask incessantly, “Where are we going? Are we there yet?” The answer was always the same, “Just sit back and enjoy the ride.” That was never the answer I was looking for. Even now, as I take the virtual journey towards the destination of my dreams and goals, I ask myself the same questions that I asked my parents. I ask myself, “Where am I going? Am I there yet?” The answer that rises up on the inside of me is still the same, “Just sit back and enjoy the ride.” I notice that when I stop trying to figure everything out and stop trying to force things to happen out of their proper timing, and just enjoy the ride, the anxiety and stress start to subside. Before I know it, I have arrived at my destination with peace and joy. Anxiety subsides when you and I learn to just enjoy the ride.
5) Write it down.
One personal development author said, “The dullest pencil is better than the sharpest mind.” Stop carrying all of your tasks, and ideas, and responsibilities around in your head. That is not what your mind is for. Use your mind for creativity. Use your mind to drum up creative solutions and strategies. Use your planner, PDA, iPhone, or legal pad to right down your tasks and responsibilities. Once you start writing things down you will notice almost immediately how your stress levels start to significantly decline. The dullest pencil (write it down), is better than the sharpest mind (trying to remember things that you can simply write down for future reference). Write it down and you will not experience the fear and anxiety of feeling that you are forgetting “something”. Write it down and you will be more apt to maintain a stress-free lifestyle.
6) Learn the power of saying “no”.
Be courageous enough to say “no” when something does not work for you. Resist the temptation to do things just to “please” people, especially when it is not in your best interests to do what they are asking. There are certain responsibilities that we all know are inescapable. It is a wonderful privilege to be able to serve your family and help your friends. However, never fear setting healthy and appropriate boundaries. “No” is a very effective boundary word that will help you keep your priorities straight, so that you are giving your time to the people and places that you should. Always remember, giving time to yourself is just as important as the time that you give to others. If you don’t take appropriate care of yourself, then there won’t be enough of you to help anyone else because you’ll be all used up! Don’t let this happen, learn the power of saying “no”, and refuse to allow anyone to send you on pointless guilt trips.
7) Don’t condemn yourself, just make the necessary adjustment.
Everyone makes mistakes including me. It’s called being human. The wonderful thing about being a human is we have the power and ability to acknowledge our mistakes, apologize where necessary, and make the needed changes. There is no need to add labels and stories of guilt, shame, condemnation, and blame to what has happened. You cannot unscramble scrambled eggs, either eat them or throw them away. Feeling bad about spilled milk is not going to help anything or anybody, the best thing you can do is clean up the mess, learn the lesson, and move on. Don’t condemn yourself after making a mistake, be humble and honest enough to admit where you missed it and go on. If someone else can’t seem to forgive you or get passed what you’ve done wrong, after you’ve tried to make it right, that is their problem, not yours. Just move on. Depending on what you’ve done, it may take some time to rebuild trust and reputation, but never the less there is no need to carry guilt and shame with you after doing your best to rectify a situation. Pick yourself up and keep on keepin’ on! Don’t condemn yourself, just make the adjustment.
As you continue to build your stress-free lifestyle, apply the above 7 keys and enjoy a greater sense of fulfillment.
Question: Why do you believe many people seem to experience such high stress levels? What ways have you discovered to effectively reduce your own stress?
Turn Your Setbacks into Accelerated Comebacks,
Craig L. Sanders
“The Comeback Specialist”
P.S. To inquire about Craig's book, "Keys to Manifesting Your Destiny", his coaching packages, or to have him speak at your event, please visit his website: http://www.craiglsanders.com/
P.P.S. Follow Craig on these following social media sites:
Twitter: @CRAIGLSANDERS http://bit.ly/5rMQy5
Facebook: http://bit.ly/8DHOzU
Linkedin: http://bit.ly/5kLw5F
Copyright 2010 Craig Sanders Unlimited, LLC
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